Hello Friends!

Heres my life UPDATAE.. I wrote my last post two weeks ago,  it had been such a stressful week with finals and such. So glad that is over with. I have two weeks before it all begins again! I came home two weeks ago and have been literally bummin it in PJ's :)


I had jaw surgery yesterday. It went well. Really well. :) I think it deserves another post. I'm going to track every single day for readers.

I'm in pain although grateful for support and love I've received.

Yarn Balls.

Yes. My post title is yarn balls. You may ask why? That's because I feel like my mind is a huge NEVER ENDING yarn ball right now. You know when like.. you roll out a yarn ball and it takes ten years to unroll. That is my brain at this moment. I will have one thought.. then it reminds me of ten things I need to do and 35 other thoughts and worries.

I'm just a kid! I can't handle this stress. I feel like I want to refund adulthood... and just be a kid again watching Disney princess movies at my grandmas house while eating Spagetti O's and coloring. 

I'm stressed...I'm not going to sugar coat it.  I need Thursday to come faster. I need next semester. Everything will change, life will slow down.

I just need a mental break from everything! 

I just feel like I'm breaking down!


My brain is being stretched every which way, my emotions are being toyed with and I'm tired. This is the point of any school year or semester that makes me so crazy! I hate feeling like everything is ending around me. Change is hard for me. I mean it's silly, because I'm coming back.. Like... in a month literally.. But I am SO sad. I've made friends here who seriously will be blessed for putting up with me, I LOVE my roommates. They are so cute and friendly. We have had more laughs than what we know what to do with. We all have 6-packs from laughing so hard.



I just don't like this rush of emotion.
I'll get over it. But it's mind-blowing to me.

I love you college. <3

grateFULL

• I'm so full, grateful for the food that I am blessed with 
• I love black friday.. because I'm so broke that I get to look at everything and think of what it would be like to actually buy something. Humbling. 
• I am so happy! All of my friends are getting their mission calls. Makes me grateful that I have friends that are wise
• I'm grateful my aunt and uncle are here! They make me so happy.
• Today's temperature was 70 degrees.. You better believe I ran through the sprinklers
• My roomie Danielle..She sends me love texts ALL day long
• Grandma Bennett.. told me tonight , "Honestly, you will never be 100% sure about anything or anyone, but if it gives you a warm fuzzy feeling, follow it".. What a sweetie. I love her so much and learn a bunch from her. AHHHH! 
• Pitbull. Yes, like the rapper, not the dog. He makes me so happy. I am currently dancing off pie while listening to him.

grate·ful/ˈgrātfəl/

Adjective:	Feeling or showing an appreciation of kindness; thankful.
Synonyms:	thankful - appreciative - beholden

There are too many reasons to smile and be in awe of the things that surround us. Here is my list to express what has blessed my life TODAY. 

1) Roommates. They always look for my best interest, make me giggle and never judge. They are quick to listen or let me be. They aren't crazy controlling neat freaks and we ALL get along.. which was something I feared coming to college. 

2) Family. As I was being driven home from the airport last night, my dad was like.."Well, this weekend should be tons of fun! Nana (the one that lives here in Las Vegas) will be coming over, and friends from our ward, it will be great. I was of course so excited! I just agreed with him and we proceeded on. As we got home, my mom told me that I should go set my bags in the newly decorated guest room, hinting that there would be a surprise  I expected four little bodies to pop out and scream "WELCOME HOME!!!!". To my SUPER surprise  I was greeted by 10 heads! My grandma, uncle, aunt and cute cousins came into town! This made me so happy, I couldn't help but cry tears of joy. I love them! I love every single one of em. 

Although I'm still trying to figure out this teenager business. My brother wouldn't give me a hug and I was genuinely disappointed by it. I tried to involve myself with his life and catch up on school, girls, sports, computers games, I don't know... A  N  Y  T  H  I  N  G, yet he just sat there and chuckled at me and in a monotone voice said, "Stop being fake. I know what you're trying to do". I laughed and was like,"Homeboy, what are you talking about?" and he just was sassing me! Teenage boys make NO sense. Even though he is too spiffy to tell me the minor details of his life, he's still a cool kid and I love him!

3) Food. I ate dinner.. and was content. Three hours passed and I just sat here plopped on the couch like I would be if I were up at school and thought.. UGH ramen..... hot dogs... blehhh! Then I remembered that I wasn't at school, and ran through our beautiful Food Storage room and sang the "Hallelujah" chorus and ate Fritos and chili and popcorn and a soda... Oh man. Talk about a splurge? It was perfect. I'm just practicing for Thanksgiving dinner. Bring on the stuffing!

4) Smiles. I know this is crazy random but this sweet grandma sat in her wheelchair staring at me at the airport today before I was boarded. It was an extremely uncomfortably happy moment. I love kindness! Even just a friendly smile from a lady in a faux fur coat 4x as big as her body, it was adorable. How can someone not feel happy after that. Man, love it! 

5) I have so much to be grateful for, but it's 2:25 AM and my fingers are getting tired. I'll continue this list all week. 

To all(if there are any, Ha!) my readers,

Have a great morning and great Thanksgiving.  

B

Jaw Surgery: December 26th, 2012

Do you remember the first day of middle school? You are so awkwardly excited to meet friends and wear your favorite clothes and fit into a certain place at your new school. What you don't realize is how uncomfortable those years were, until after they have long passed. I am a college freshman.. and feel as if I am starting 6th grade. All. Over. Again.

I am currently going through many processes with my orthodontist.. this would mark year 10 since I first had an appointment with an orthodontist. I have a sever underbite which causes pain in my jaw, headaches/migranes, speech impediments and frankly, it's extremely difficult to eat BURRITOS. I have a crossbite on every tooth in my mouth, there are only two teeth that align when I smile. It's wonderful.

Just kidding. I'm not gonna lie, I am past that honeymoon phase where I am happy to have braces and be doing all of this work, it stinks! It's not fun to be a college freshman with braces! It's embarrassing.  I don't want to smile as it is because of my jaw but now I have braces to make everything more goofy looking. 

December 26th is my jaw surgery date. I couldn't begin to express how happy I am for this day to come. I've been through headgear, braces, retainers, handfuls and handfuls of x-rays with those giant huge lead vests, weird cheek pully things that stretch your mouth like leather and scolded by orthodontists who thought I wasn't properly following their instructions. 

Not to say that this will be easy but I will at least have my MAIN problem fixed and can work from there. It will be gruesome. I'm stoked!

Heres an example of the profile changes after jaw surgery. I recently had a conversation with a world renound cosmestic oral surgeon in Las Vegas and he told me that because my bite is weak and mouth isn't aligned, my muscles aren't properly developed and I lack cheek definition and basically my face is just made up of fat. I thought it was funny. You can clearly tell the different above of the jaw and cheek bones, the woman looks less like a caveman and more like a woman! 

This will be a long haul, but it will be great! 

Another example is Bristol Palin. You can see more of what I explained earlier concerning definition. 

This last video is exactly what I am going through/ looking forward to in the next month :) 

I am beyond excited and grateful that everything has worked out for me as planned! I have seen many miracles this year. 

LOVE MY LIFE!

B

One blessed hot mess

I have given much thought about life lately. I guess I could share what I've thought and how I've been feeling. Here it goes!

1) I miss my mom. I hit this point here at college where I just was STARVING and tired but had no clue what to make! If anyone knows my mom, she is the best cook around and it's not like I wasn't taught the basic homemaking skills.. but I find myself all the time so confused when it comes to recipes and putting together meals. It's probably because I can't yell into the next room over and be like, "Mom, what's the rice/water ratio again?". Being away from your mom is hard. I'm surviving but it's nothing like I'd imagined. 

2) Relationships. The LDS culture emphasizes marriage so much!! I feel like there is no pressure at all. I have years. I know my husband is somewhere out in the world and know that I'll meet him. Why is everyone in a rush? I meet so many young girls that seek after boys.. (specifically return missionary boys!) and honestly just want to SHAKE them! This is the greatest time but you are missing it! Look at the world around us, sure there is commotion and I can't say that the world affairs bring me any peace, but the Lord has blessed us with beautiful opportunities to serve, grow and learn and I feel like many girls my age are missing out.

3) Mission. I went shopping at DI this past weekend and was overcome..almost to tears with joy for my mission. I found the CUTEST skirts that were probably once owned by a cute 80 year old grandma but they are so modest and perfect.. PLUS they were $4, so who cares! The thought that I can spend two years trying to be like Christ everyday and preach the truth is beyond my realm of thinking. I just want to leave now. I've seriously evaluated my life and what I would give up to serve him.. I invite anyone that reads this to do the same because you'll find yourself wanting to perfect yourself and determining the value of your material objects. 

4) Letting go. I have decided to go out of my way to feel at peace with everyone. I find it to tempting and easy to slip into a mentality where I either compare myself to others or am a tad on the feisty side and will let people know when I disagree with them....(whoooooops!) I've tried to let any negative feelings go. It's not easy, but I'm learning a lot.

I love my life. It is simply beautiful!

Disclaimer: I had just woken up before we went shopping, I look scary. But this outfit was a STEAL!